dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
