Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
