The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
