now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
