I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
