you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
