Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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