apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Randomize
