Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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