I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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