my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize