How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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