Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize