ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
