Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
