third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
