Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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