I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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