I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
