is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize