He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
