I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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