Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
