oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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