Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
