her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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