Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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