i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
