dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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