I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
