I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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