i think i have two assholes
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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