After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This is my gift to your gina
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dear god my vagina.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
