All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
