My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
