More tranny stories later!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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