then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
3 2 1 whiskey
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
