I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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