Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
