So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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