i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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