I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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