it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize