all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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