I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
