I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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