Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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