so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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