textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My dick has a subreddit
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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