i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
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You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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