Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
