He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
