Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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