dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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