He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
