Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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