i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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