just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
